• Announce engagement. Use formal printed announcements and/or the newspaper.
• Select a wedding date and time.
• Choose size and style of wedding: formal, informal, special theme, etc.
• Set a preliminary budget.
• Schedule a meeting with both sets of parents to openly discuss wedding expectations, costs, and responsibilities.
• Hire wedding consultant if you plan to use one.
• Buy a wedding planner or notebook to remain organized and record decisions.
• Invite attendants to be in your wedding.
• Reserve the ceremony location.
• Choose the officiant for the ceremony.
• Reserve the reception site. Find out what services are included or available.
• Interview. caterers, florists, photographers, videographers. Listen to or watch tapes of musicians. Ask for references and discuss deposit requirements and the cancellation policy. Hire as soon as possible.
• Create a preliminary guest list, including addresses. Ask all parents to do the same. Include the relationship (friend, uncle, etc.) - this helps if the list needs to be shortened.
• Begin planning the wedding ceremony and reception.
• Write out directions and or a map to be included on a separate card with invitation.
• Shop for a wedding gown and accessories. Order your dress at least 6-8 months in advance.
• Choose and order attire and accessories for bridesmaids. Keep in mind the time of year, and style of wedding.
• Start planning the honeymoon. If you are leaving the country, make sure your passport is up to date and verify any visa requirements.
• Register for your wedding gifts. Develop a system for recording gifts as they arrive and for recording when you wrote the thank-you note.

• Finalize your guest list. Write each guest's name and address on an index card and use these to track responses.
• Order wedding and reception invitations, response cards, place cards, announcements, thank-you notes, informals, at home cards, save-the-date cards, and accessories. Always order extra invitations and envelopes to allow for addressing mistakes, surprise guests and keepsakes. It is a lot less expensive to order extras from the start.
• Send out Save-the-Date cards so your guests can reserve your special day on their calendars.
• Address invitations and announcements as soon as possible.
• Arrange to have someone main the wedding announcements the day of the wedding.
• Start making final decisions and arrangements for the ceremony and reception, including food, music, flowers and any rental equipment.
• Sign contracts and place deposits with caterer, photographer, videographer, florist, musicians and other service providers if you have not already done so.
• Plan rehearsal dinner: time, menu and guest list.
• Arrange for wedding-day transportation for important guests and wedding party.
• Reserve a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town members of the wedding party and guests. It is nice to provide a list of local restaurants and attractions.
• Order wedding rings and make arrangements for engraving.
• Have both mothers select their wedding attire.
• Confirm the delivery date for the wedding gown and bridesmaids dresses. Schedule fittings.
• Choose and order formalwear for the groom and groomsmen. Remind men to submit their measurements to your formalwear provider.
• Finalize honeymoon plans.
• Shop for trousseau and special attire for parties, showers and honeymoon.
• Write thank-you notes as gifts are received. If you are using preprinted thank-you notes to immediately acknowledge that a gift was received, be sure to send a hand-written thank-you on your informal notes within two months after the wedding.

• Finish addressing invitations and announcements.
• Finalize the ceremony details with officiant.
• Finalize details with caterer, florist, musicians, photographer, etc.
• Order wedding cake.
• Finalize plans for bridal luncheon or any other wedding events.
• Check requirements for medical tests and marriage license.
• Schedule appointment to have a picture taken for newspaper announcement.
• Ask someone to be responsible for the guest book.
• Choose small gifts of appreciation for the wedding party.
• Collect the forms necessary to change your name (if you are changing your name) on your Social Security card, driver's license, insurance, etc.
• Continue to write thank-you notes.

• Mail the invitations (six weeks is customary, 8 is becoming increasingly common). It is not uncommon for guests to mail their response card without writing their name. To identify guests if this happens, assign each guest a number and write this number very small on the back of their response card (or inside the envelope) before you put it in with the invitation. An incomplete response card can now be matched to a guest.
• Use the index cards with each guest's name and address (and number) to track responses.
• Order wedding programs and reception accessories such as napkins, cake boxes, etc.
• Make final menu decisions.
• Set rehearsal time and verify with all participants.
• Have first wedding dress fitting.
• Schedule to have formal bridal portrait taken two to four weeks before wedding. Make sure wedding dress and shoes will be ready.
• Make sure members of the wedding party have their fitting.
• Make an appointment with your hairdresser to practice your wedding-day hair style. Bring headpiece. Have a makeup consultation at the same time. Schedule hair and makeup appointments for yourself and bridal party on the wedding day. Schedule a manicure for the day before the wedding.
• Give photographer a list of all pictures you would like taken, including pictures you may want of the tent, flowers, cake, etc.
• Give videographer list of all shots you would like included in the video.
• Purchase gift for fiancé, if gifts are being exchanged.
• Choose thank-you gifts for parents and any others who helped with the wedding.
• Submit wedding announcement and photograph to newspaper. Specify date for publishing.
• Continue to write thank-you notes.

• Have your final wedding dress fitting
• Verify that all members of the wedding party have had their final fittings.
• Get blood test and obtain your marriage license.
• Make sure you have all accessories, toasting goblets, cake knife, ring pillow, guest book, etc.
• Create a detailed wedding schedule for all attendants. List all events participants are expected to attend. Include date, time, location and any responsibilities. Give attendants the schedule two weeks before the wedding.
• Give musicians final music list for the ceremony and reception. Specify any music you do not want played. Have the music start 30 minutes before the ceremony.
• Prepare your wedding toasts.
• Pick up and try on your wedding bands.
• Confirm honeymoon reservations.

• Confirm final details with all wedding professionals you have hired. Confirm wedding night hotel reservation.
• Give caterer your guest count.
• Finalize seating chart for reception.
• Submit names for place cards to calligrapher or write them out yourself.
• Give a wedding day schedule to all attendants.
• Finish addressing announcements.
• Pick up wedding dress.
• Have your bridal portrait taken.
• Break-in your wedding shoes.
• Fill out a change-of-address form at the post office.
• Arrange for someone to collect gifts brought to the ceremony and bring them to your home.

• Verify final details with all service providers and inform them of any changes.
• Finalize the guest count, making necessary changes to the seating chart.
• Confirm that the photographer understands the list of pictures you have requested.
• Confirm that the videographer understands your specific requests.
• Verify that all wedding attire has been picked up and fits.
• Confirm that all attendants know when to arrive at the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and the wedding ceremony. Confirm that all attendants have a copy of the wedding schedule your created.
• Pack for your honeymoon.
• Stop mail and newspapers during your honeymoon.
• Pay bills that will be due while you are away.
• Continue to write thank-you notes, if possible.
• Pick up your marriage license.

• Be sure that both of you eat something. A bridal brunch thrown for the mothers and bridesmaids is a nice way to start your day.
• Try to relax and enjoy the day. If anything goes differently than planned, chances are you are the only ones who will notice.

• Wedding invitations (including Response Cards, Reception Cards, etc.), all stationery and announcements
• Wedding consultant
• Wedding cake
• Wedding gown, accessories and trousseau
• Engagement and wedding photographs
• Ceremony expenses (excluding officiant's fee)
• Reception expenses
• Flowers for ceremony, reception and bride's attendants
• Transportation of wedding party to ceremony and reception site
• Lodging for out-of-town bridal attendants
• Groom's ring
• Gifts for bride's attendants and groom
• Bridal luncheon (optional)

• Bride's engagement and wedding rings
• Personal wedding attire and traveling expenses
• Marriage license
• Officiant's fee
• Transportation of groomsmen and groom to ceremony; bride and groom to ceremony
• Rehearsal dinner expenses
• Bride's bouquet and going-away corsage; corsages for both mothers
• Boutonnières for groomsmen
• Gifts for groomsmen and bride
• All honeymoon expenses
• Lodging arrangements for out-of-town groomsmen
• Bachelor's dinner (optional)

• Wedding attire
• Traveling expenses
• Wedding gift

• Thank-you gifts for parents and others who helped with the wedding

• Send invitations to the members of the wedding party and their parents. It is also appropriate to include the officiant and his/her spouse. All children over the age of eighteen (some say sixteen) should receive their own invitation. Plan to order additional invitations to allow for the unexpected. It is less expensive to order extras now.

Why don't I get tissue paper with my Something Different invitations?

• The tissues are absolutely not necessary — they were originally packing material used when engraving inks were oily and wouldn't have dried by the time they were shipped, so the tissues kept the inks from smudging until they dried. They were supposed to be removed before assembling the invitation for mailing. However, over time, using the tissues has become "proper," so you're welcome to use them if you would like. If you have printed your own invitations on your own printer, you might find that the tissues do indeed serve a purpose — printer inks often do smudge during mailing.

Should I have a return address printed on the back flap of the invitation's outer envelope?

• Yes! The U.S. Postal Service suggests that all first-class mail have a return address. It gives the wedding guest an address to which they may send a reply (if you don't use reply cards) or a gift. Also, it ensures that you will know if the invitation does not reach its destination as it will be returned to the sender.

Is it acceptable to send gift registry cards with the invitation?

• It is not proper to include with your wedding invitation any card that mentions gifts you expect to receive. Let friends and family spread the word on where you are registered.

My fiancé and I have had several showers and other parties given in our honor. Therefore, some friends have given us more than one gift. Can we write one thank-you note to cover both gifts, or does each gift require a separate note?

• Gifts given at separate parties require separate thank-you notes. If you use preprinted thank-you notes to immediately acknowledge that a gift was received, always follow up with a hand-written note to the gift-giver. These notes should be written no later than two months after the wedding.

How do you address the outer envelope of an invitation to a married couple if the woman has kept her maiden name? Or if you simply want to include Mom's first name?

• If the woman kept her name, address the envelope with both names on the same line if space permits:
  Mr. John Smith and Miss Jane Doe. You should always use "Miss" instead of "Ms.," which should be reserved exclusively for business correspondence and should not be used on wedding invitations.
   
• For an invitation to an unmarried couple living together, list their names alphabetically on separate lines without "and":
  Mr. John Smith
  Miss Jane Doe
   
• For a married couple where you want to show the wife's first name:
  Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe

Is it appropriate to address an invitation "Miss Jane Doe and Guest"?

• It is your responsibility to find out the name and address of each person who you are inviting. If the couple is living together, address the envelope as listed above. If they are not living together, then the guest should receive his or her own invitation. If it is not possible to find out this information, then "and Guest" will do, especially if the wedding is more casual.

I don't want children at my reception. How do I word that on the invitation or reception card?

• You don't. When you address the envelope and write the names on the inner envelope, if any, do not list the names of the children. That means that they are not invited. Other than that, your family and friends can spread that information through word-of-mouth. But it's socially incorrect to write, "no children, please" or "adults only" on an invitation or any part of the invitation ensemble.
   
• If you still want to make sure they "get" it, make sure you have a "Number of persons attending ___" line (or other similar wording) on your respond cards. If an invitation addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Smith comes back with six attending, you know that there are some uninvited guests. Your mother, mother-in-law or Maid of Honor can contact them and tactfully explain the situation if you don't feel comfortable doing that.

Do all invitations come with double envelopes?

• Invitations normally come with two envelopes, an inner and an outer. However, the more contemporary and different sizes usually only come with single outer envelopes. The outer envelope serves as the mailing vehicle, while the inner envelope protects the invitation. For added elegance, the inner envelopes may be enhanced with colored linings. Most inner envelopes won't have a gummed flap. If an invitation comes with inner and outer, "double envelopes" will be included in the description. If just the outer, it will read "single envelopes".

What can be done about a guest who doesn't RSVP to a wedding invitation?

• If an invitee hasn't responded within a reasonable length of time, it's appropriate to call or write the person to ask if she or he plans to attend.

Can I get a catalog sent to me in the mail?

• We do not have mail-able catalogs at this time and there is nothing in the works. All of our items are either online or in the large albums in our office. All of the Something Different album is on our website including items that are not in other stores.

How do I alert guests to our registry information?

• Don't put registry information on wedding invitations or as enclosures with the invitations. Guests learn about the registry by word of mouth.

Why are my envelopes printed in flat ink while everything else is raised?

• We print envelopes (including Respond Envelopes) in flat ink because the thermography powder can get under the flap and cause problems when trying to seal the envelope. And since we don't recommend it we won't print new envelopes at our cost if you have problems with them. If you order envelopes in gold ink we will print them raised because flat gold ink doesn't look gold, it is unattractive — so you need to consider this an perhaps order the envelope in another color or take your chances. To have your invitations printed using thermography the cost is an additional $10 per item. Please note that if you DO want the envelopes in thermography you have to specifically tell us that. You can't just say "everything".

Is "five o'clock" in the "afternoon" or "evening"?

• Most people go by the unofficial rule of thumb that five o'clock is still part of the afternoon, and that "evening" starts at six. But we get a lot of brides who prefer to use "evening" because just that one word can tend to change the atmosphere of the occasion and affect how people dress. So, really, it is up to you. Officially, though, evening is the time when the day is turning into night (from late afternoon until nightfall), so the time changes from season to season. Therefore, a wedding starting at five o'clock would be at: five o'clock in the afternoon. Or, you don't even need to indicate morning vs. afternoon vs. evening if it is clear. As an example, a wedding called for five o'clock would almost always be at 5:00 p.m. It would never be in the morning. You do not need to put "in the morning" or "in the evening" if it is obvious but you may if you would like to. Never write "a.m." or "p.m." on a formal invitation.

How do I word the request line?

• The request line is dictated by the location of the wedding. A place of worship is usually indicated by the phrase “request the honor of your presence,” while secular locations usually include the wording “request the pleasure of your company.”

What does "Rsvp" mean?

• "Rsvp," or "Répondez s'il vous plaît" is French for "Respond, if you like". Note that properly only the "R" in "Rsvp" is capitalized and there are no periods as they look awkward, unless that is part of the design. R.S.V.P. and RSVP is fine, but never capitalize letters together if you are using any kind of script font, it is hard to read and looks horrible (I can't believe that I see signs for businesses where they do that — ugh!)

Other Etiquette Questions:
Remember that some of these "rules" go out the window with the more contemporary invitations like the ones in the "Something Different" line. In those invitations we make suggestions as to the way the design will look best with the text.

• All phrasing is in typically done in the third person.
• Punctuation is not used at the ends of lines (commas, periods, colons, etc.); however, commas are used within lines to separate the day from the date, the city from the state and a man's surname from "Jr./junior/II/III", etc.
• No abbreviations are used. "Road", "Street", "Avenue", "Reverend", "Doctor" and all military titles should be spelled out. Exceptions are: "Mr." and "Mrs.".
• If both Mr. and Mrs. Smith are doctors, they can be referred to as "The Doctors Smith."
• Days, dates and times are always spelled out. The year is spelled out: i.e. Two thousand and three.
• Only proper nouns are capitalized (names of people and places, cities, states, name of the day of the week, month name, etc.) Exceptions are the year line ("Two thousand") or where the noun is the beginning of a new sentence or thought ("T" in "The favour of a reply is requested" or "Reception to follow").
• Be consistent with your usage of "honour/favour" or "honor/favor." Traditionally the formal, British spelling with the "u" is preferred in proper wedding etiquette. Whichever form you choose, use it in both words.
• "Black tie" does not traditionally appear on the invitation. If the event takes place after six o'clock, your guests should assume that it is a formal event. If you are concerned, however, you may write "Black tie" as a right footnote on your reception card. Note: the "B" in "Black tie" is capitalized, but not the "t."
• Spell out the day and date with the spelled-out number inverted before the name of the month and a comma separating the day from the date: "Saturday, the first of May". Using "on" before the name of the day is optional but if you do, do not capitalize the "o": "on Saturday, the first of September".
• For a formal invitation, listing of the year appears on the line following the day/date line. Only the first letter of the first word of the line is capitalized: "Two thousand and five".
• Listing an address for the place is optional (unless the wedding is in someone's home).
• After the address, include the city and state, separated by a comma: "Chicago, Illinois". No need to include a zip code.
• If you want to include reception information on the main invitation do so at the bottom. Be careful that you don't have too many lines of text already or it will look too cramped. Rather, you can put the reception information on its own card.
• If you are not using response cards, then include "The favour of a reply is requested", or "Rsvp" with the phone number or address. If you have a reception card, put the Rsvp corner line there in order to leave the invitation uncluttered. Note that properly only the "R" in "Rsvp" is capitalized and there are no periods as they look awkward, unless that is part of the design.
• If your invitation uses a monogram, remember that traditionally the middle initial is larger. If this is being done for a married couple, then the bride's first name initial goes on the left -- the groom's surname in the middle -- the groom's first name initial on the right. If you are using the monogram for a single person, then the first name initial is on the left -- the surname initial is in the middle -- the middle name initial is on the right.

Event Dress Code / Attire Wording

• Black tie means formal. Men wear tuxedos, women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates.
• White tie means ultra-formal. Men wear full dress, with white tie, vest, shirt. Women wear long gowns.
• Formal usually means the same as Black Tie, but in some trendier cities like New York or Los Angeles, it could mean a black shirt, no tie with a tux. Women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates.
• Ultra-formal means White Tie. Men wear full dress, with white tie, vest, shirt. Women wear long gowns.
• Black tie optional means you have the option of wearing a tuxedo, but it should clue you into the formality of the event, meaning a dark suit and tie would be your other option. Women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates.
• Black tie invited means you have the option of wearing a tuxedo, but it should clue you into the formality of the event, meaning a dark suit and tie would be your other option. Women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates.
• Creative black tie leaves room for trendy interpretations of formal wear. He can go more modern with a tux -- maybe a black shirt, no tie. She wears long or short dresses or evening separates (maybe a long lace or sequined skirt with a sleek cashmere sweater).
• Semi-formal is the trickiest of all dress codes. Usually it means that tuxes are not required, nor are long dresses. An evening wedding (after 6 PM) would still dictate dark suits for him, and a cocktail dress for her. Daytime semi-formal events mean a suit for him and an appropriate short dress or dressy suit for her.
• Cocktail attire means short, elegant dresses for her and dark suits for him.
• Dressy casual usually means no jeans or shorts. Similar to business casual, but a tad dressier.
• Casual generally means anything goes.
• Informal can mean the same as casual. However, when associated with a wedding or other special event, some form of decorum and good taste should prevail. A dress for her or a nice pair of slacks and shirt for him are informal, but respectful of the event.